yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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