John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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