I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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