It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Never underestimate the power of titties
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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