Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
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I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
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All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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