In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
never play flip cup with pint glasses
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
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