I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
