don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
