I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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