My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
