I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
