the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
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