What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
