he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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