We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
