k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
