i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
