...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize