why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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