well most of my day revolves around power hour
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Pooping to opera.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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