I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
