I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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