Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize