You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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