what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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