theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
