I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
