Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I faked an abortion last night.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
