just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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