if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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