you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
