Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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