I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize