I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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