Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
