So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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