Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
