if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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