God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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