My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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