is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
