there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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