Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize