I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
