He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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