that's an acceptable place to lick
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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