is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
