my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
