; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
