the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Randomize
