Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
