is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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