how can u be prego again
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
