Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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