I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize