it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Randomize
