Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
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he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
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Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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