you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Also, beer. Big fan.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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