I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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